Here's the premise for Nutcases: It's the year 2033. Since so many people have developed allergies to peanuts in this century, the government has banned peanuts and all peanut-related products, including (*gasp*) peanut butter. Side note: I think that was the most anyone has ever used the word 'peanut' in a sentence. Well, as you can imagine, Morgan, my heroine, refuses to live in a world without PB. So, with the help of my hero, Clark, they build their own peanut-butter-making machine in the secret basement of her home and begin the business of bootlegging. Also, they share a few pb kisses, etc, etc.
And here's an excerpt, continuing from where we left off:
Are those bean bag chairs?" he asked as they passed through the living room.
"They are indeed."
"I didn't know they still made those."
"They don't." She raised her eyebrows suggestively. "I'm not a big fan of change. I like the things I like, and when they're taken from me...well, let's just say, I always find a way to get what I want."
"That how I ended up here?" he asked, smirking.
That's all, folks! Thanks so much for stopping by and be sure to visit the other Weekend Writing Warriors!
Well, I'm heading back to Ottawa today after spending two blessed weeks at home with my family. It's always so hard leaving, but once I get back in my own place, doing what I love doing, I'll be happy as a spoon in peanut butter. January is my favourite month. Not just because its my birth month. It feels like a new beginning. The air is crisp and fresh. I'm excited to try new things, make new friends, and write new stories. Wishing you all a wonderful week and a prosperous new year! :)
:)
:(
;)
:D
:-/
:x
:P
:-*
=((
:-0
X(
:7
B-)
#:-S
:((
:))
=))
:-B
:-c
:)]
~x(
:-h
I-)
=D7
@-)
:-w
7:P
2):)
:!!
\m/
:-q
:-bd
^#(^
I enjoyed the dialogue and premise behind it. A suggestion, if you don't mind because that's what we're here for. She raised her eyebrows-you don't need 'suggestively'. The reader gets it since you've written a super set-up. Also 'smirked'- a word I believe to be unnecessary. Keep it simple. Again the set-up is terrific-we get it. Thanks for listening.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Charmaine - for all of the above! I appreciate your suggestions! :)
DeleteI agree with Charmaine about the suggestively...but I liked his smirk! In fact, love it : ) Smirking people make me happy!
ReplyDeleteThen here's a smirk just for you, Millie! :D Thanks so much!
DeleteI agree with Millie. Other than that, great 8;).
ReplyDeleteThanks very much, Tina! :)
DeleteGood lord. Bean bag chairs and banned PB? This is you!
ReplyDeleteI always manage to slip myself into stories. Strange how that happens. ;) Thanks, Maggie! xo
DeleteHe catches on quickly! (I was wondering if the bean bag chair was stuffed with peanuts so that's where MY mind is today...). These two clearly are meant for each other like...like....peanut butter & jam! Great snippet...
ReplyDeleteLOL! I definitely need to incorporate that detail, Veronica! Love it! Thank you tons for your fabulous and amusing comments! :)
DeleteHehe...she gets what she wants and I'm pretty sure she definitely wants him. Can't wait to see how these two get along...and how they manage to make...um...peanut butter.
ReplyDeleteOh, I'm pretty sure she wants him too. I know I do! Thanks, Sarah! :)
DeleteMorgan has an interesting personality. Curious to see what Clark makes of her:)
ReplyDeleteYou'll find out soon enough! Thanks, Eleri! :)
DeleteI love the premise and adore the chars already! Well done, Evelyn...great use of the 8's.
ReplyDeleteWoohoo! That's awesome to hear! Thank you so much, J.A.! :)
DeleteI know just how she feels. Companies are constantly retiring products I love.
ReplyDeleteDamn those companies and their improvements, or lack thereof. It's happened to me as well. Thanks for commenting, Kate! :)
DeleteThe last question was hilarious!
ReplyDeleteBeanbag chairs are great.
ReplyDelete