Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Online Dating 101 - Lesson Two

Helloooooo! Welcome to our second lesson! Today we have special guest, Jessica, sharing the Five Least Sexy Things to Say in an Email. Be prepared to laugh, folks! Aaaaand take it away, Jessica!

Hi, everyone! Evelyn is so awesome for starting this series, isn’t she? It’s nice to know someone else has had some interesting experiences with online dating. And I’m grateful for the opportunity to be a guest on the blog!

So, once you’ve dipped your toes into the metaphorical pool (or is it an ocean?) of online dating, one of the most intimidating parts of the experience is initiating communication. Depending on your website of choice, this can mean sending a “wink” to show you’re interested, sending your match a few questions to answer, or if you’re feeling particularly confident, bypassing all of the stages and sending an email.

There are definitely pros and cons about sending emails through an online dating website. However, the biggest ‘pro’ of them all can also be a ‘con’: you catch a glimpse of your match’s true personality right away.

Since it’s nearly impossible to tell what specifics may get your match’s heart to pitter-patter, it’s probably easier to share some big no-nos in the emailing process. I’ve had lots of emails in the just over six months I’ve been dating online, but I’ve found some trends in communication that will make me hit my ‘delete’ button faster than ever. So, ladies and gentlemen, I give you The Five Least Sexy Things to Say in an Email.

5. ”What kind of computer sings? A Dell! LOL!”: Now, there’s little that makes me fall harder than a cute guy with a great sense of humor. And I’m not opposed to the cheesy lines, either. But in an email, the quirky charm of a random, goofy joke is lost. I’d much rather you crack a joke about something in my profile than pull out the road-crossing chickens.

4. “Hey your [sic] beautiful let’s meet up tomorrow at the coffee shop at 2pm.”: I’m flattered! But first, grammar is sexy. Second, I barely know you! What’s your name? And hey, points for being assertive. But, do I get a say in all of this? Also, I have plans tomorrow. And if I didn’t before, I do now.

3. “I was on Millionaire Matchmaker!”: This one’s 100% real, internet. This guy was on a reality show that airs in the US that aims to set millionaires up with their potential life partners. If Patti Stanger can’t set you up, you may be a hopeless case. Also, I remember that episode well. You were quite the pig, so bragging about the episode probably won’t do you any good.

2. “Hi, my name is Jake. I just moved to the area and I’m looking for ways to meet new people. I’m new to the whole online dating thing. It’s weird, isn’t it? I like movies, sports, and…”:  I think everyone can agree that the copy and paste approach doesn’t work. I can get all this information from your profile! The point of an email is to communicate beyond what’s in the profile. Do we share a mutual interest in crocheting? Or are you also a fan of the same always failing baseball team? Nix the “copypasta” and let’s have a real conversation!

1. ”I know I’m too old for you, but I can be your Sugar Daddy!”: I’m a gal who values maturity and life experience, but…this won’t work. While I find the salt-and-pepper look to be distinguished and handsome, I am a woman in my twenties, seeking a man in his twenties to live forever in mutual (endearing) weirdness. Hey, if the sugar daddy situation is sexy to you, then great. It’s probably not wise to jump right in and assume it’s sexy for everybody.

When deciding to e-mail someone, the best advice I have is to pay attention to your match’s profile! That may sound obvious, but you’d be amazed at how many matches forget that an email is a first impression, even if you’ve taken the other steps of communication first. It’s safe to say that when we feel like our needs are being ignored, we shut down. So, take those extra few minutes to compose a great email. That is really sexy.

Amen, sistah friend! Fantabulous post, Jessica! So what do the rest of you think? What takes an email from lame-o party of one territory to sexy-mc'sex-land? Thanks for reading! Stay tuned for next week's lesson about the trouble with text-speak! :)
:) :( ;) :D :-/ :x :P :-* =(( :-0 X( :7 B-) #:-S :(( :)) =)) :-B :-c :)] ~x( :-h I-) =D7 @-) :-w 7:P 2):) :!! \m/ :-q :-bd ^#(^


  1. Thanks for guest posting, Jessica. Nicely done. It's true, being authentic is the way to go.

    1. So true. My pen name is authentic as it gets. ;)

    2. You said it, my friend! Being yourself is so important... and people have a huge BS detector! :D

  2. Fabulous post, Jessica. As a woman in her forties, I would urge you to give serious consideration to the sugar daddy offer. My second husband is going to be SOOOOOO rich. I kid. Kinda. Sorta. You might want to give the sugar daddy another peek. One day you'll thank me.

    1. Hmmmm. :-/ *pays closer attention to the Sugar Daddies on eHarms*

    2. Thanks much for the comment! The sugar daddy situation may not be so bad after all... I do need a Master's Degree! ;-)

  3. I think that is great advice here. I find this whole internet dating so fascinating. #4 & #1 would send me over the edge especially if it was over and over again. I am sure patience is really needed when a person embarks on this on-line dating.

    This is great advice for sure. :-bd

    Best to you!

    1. Oh yes, patience is VERY much needed, but sometimes you can find some good ones. I found me a pretty good one recently. More on that later. ;)

    2. Thank you for the comment! The amount of #1's I've received is much less than the #4's, but both really do drive me batty. ;-)

      I'm glad you think it's great advice!